As far as I know he's been living there for a long time. Alone it seems. I think he makes a living teaching piano and singing lessons. Sometimes I would hear him playing piano and someone singing from upstairs. That's quite nice. But as of recently there is something else going on. Maybe I'm still thinking about the ghost talk from last night, but I keep imagining something like Hitchcock's "Rear Window" taking place upstairs.
One time I saw him because there was a leak from his place to mine. He looked beaten by life. Lonely... I think about so many people that live alone in New York. Many of them get used to a life of solitude and they forget or never find out what it's like to live with someone you love. It made me sad thinking about his life. Just a few days ago, I heard him playing "Moon River" and one of his students singing along. I love "Breakfast at Tiffany's," and I sat by my window, basking in the afternoon sun and listened to the song, just like the way Audrey Hepburn's neighbor listens to her singing that song in the movie. I hope he's happy.
Last night with Silicon and Shylock, when we were talking about love, marriage and stuff, we came upon a topic about people that remain virgins well into their 30's. I told them that I have a few friends that are such cases, and Silicon kind of reacted in a way that annoyed me. What was implied in her reaction was somehow these people are not as desirable as people who are 'normal' and therefore not virgins as adults. I suppose it was a moment of smugness for them. And I looked at these two, Silicon with her face full of pimples and buck teeth. The only saving grace is her namesake chest that she had to pay for. Then there is Shylock, the type of bozo you'd find at a sports bar anywhere. A face that is average at best and a body that has started its expansion horizontally. The two of them look alike together as many couples do, and this particular one so utterly graceless. Yet these two were feeling pretty good about themselves.
I have three female friends that are virgins, and one male friend that I am pretty sure is one. All of them are more attractive than Silicon and Shylock, and at least three out of these four are in the top 5% as far as intelligence and personality are concerned. I value them for who they are. But what is the matter with them, then? Unlike Silicon and Shylock and I suspect a good majority of population, they don't want to make compromises. Regardless of who they are most people desire the same attractive interesting individuals, but the reality being that these highly desired individuals are in the minority, most people don't get them. Instead most normal folks come to terms with their own level of desirability and make 'compromises.' My virgin friends are then people that have not come to accept what they've been given, and stick to wanting things that may not be within reach for them. So, they are idealist? and Silicon and Shylock pragmatists?
This raises another question though. Loneliness. Is it better to be lonely and keep one's 'personal integrity,' in this case not settling for something less than one's ideal choice of a partner, or is it more commendable to learn to accept yourself as you are (however lacking in looks or charisma or success -- whatever qualities that render a person desirable), and find a person to share your love with? It is almost natural to love a pretty face, a charming personality, but it takes efforts to love one that is not these things. This would make my virgin friends either lazy or unimaginative...
I am going around and around without reaching any kind of a conclusion...
The man upstairs is still moving things around. At one point, it sounded like something crumbled then there was a long silence. My macabre imagination took me to thinking that he'd been hammering something to the ceiling to hang himself, and it was the sound of him kicking off the chair as he hung himself. I was so scared I almost called the police. But a while later, he started moving around again. Thank god... I don't have to worry about more ghosts and maybe even maggots gathering on the corpse. That would really freak me out.
